The fluorescent lights in the lobby of the mid-sized fintech firm had a specific, localized hum, a 61-hertz vibration that reminded me of a faulty compass I once carried through the North Cascades. I was sitting on a low-slung leather chair, the kind that makes you look smaller than you are, waiting for a interview.
Six months prior, I had been in a nearly identical chair, though it was in a much larger building in Seattle, waiting for an Amazon loop. That day in Seattle ended in a rejection-a polite, standardized email that arrived after the final interview, informing me that while my background was impressive, they wouldn’t be moving forward.
Back then, that email felt like a total loss. It felt like I had burned of my life on a failed experiment. I had memorized 11 leadership principles, or at least the ones I thought mattered most. I had cataloged 21 different stories from my career, trying to force them into a STAR format that felt like wearing a suit two sizes too small. When the “No” came, I treated it as a zero-sum game. I had played, I had lost, and the scoreboard showed nothing but a vacuum.
